R3 Coaching

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I’m Jenn.

Coach, Advocate, Warrior, Ezer

I understand where you are. I know the feelings of fear, pain, anger, confusion, loss of identity and utter uncertainty contemplating a divorce brings. I’ve been there. I asked myself and God a million questions. Most of which I received no answer or a simple, “Trust Me,” and so I did. It was during this time my therapist began to educate me on narcissistic behaviors and abuse. The book Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life Margalis Fjelstad, Ph.D., LMFT was just the beginning of my research and education. Now over 4 years, 4 professional certifications in Life Coaching CPCLC, Mental Health Coaching BCMHC, and YMHC, study in Loss and Grief, Abuse, Trauma, Attachment and and Christian Marriage Relationships including 80+ Books and hundreds of hours of intensive focus on Personality Disorders, High Conflict Divorce and “Domestic Violence & Parental Alienation” (child abuse) I am here to help you regain your focus, reclaim and re-establish your new identity and grow closer to family and Christ through the most difficult time of your life. I’m here to share my knowledge in exchange for your pain. I will be here as long as you need me. We will do this together.

Distinctly Christian

Christian Divorce Coaching is a partnership between coach and client, designed to create a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental environment, for women of faith to navigate the divorce process from beginning to end. Together we will work to find your path to clarity. We will examine your situation, work through all of your fears, doubts, and obstacles utilizing your faith as a baseline.

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“Divorce coaching is a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through divorce to help them make the best possible decisions for their future, based on their particular interests, needs, and concerns.”
- American Bar Association
- American Bar Association

Certifications - Fields of Study - Specialties

Certifications

  • CPCLC Certified Professional Christian Life Coach
  • BCMHC Board Certified Mental Health Coach
  • YMHC Youth Mental Health Coach
  • Trauma-Informed Coaching

All certifications were obtained through Light University and the International Board of Christian Care.

Fields Of Study

    Divorce is never easy; but divorcing a manipulative / narcissistic / abusive person presents issues that most divorce lawyers don’t know how to address or fully capitalize on. Family courts in the US are just beginning to see the correlation between high-conflict divorces and those with mental illness. Unfortunately, most still do not. That is where I come in. My understanding of these very complex personalities and how they present in the case and the courtroom will keep you two steps ahead instead of feeling like you’re constantly on the defense.

Professional Experience

Being not only a Life Coach but a Board Certified Mental Health Coach and Youth Mental Health Coach I am able to help you navigate the hardest thing you will ever do. I support, empower and encourage you so you can focus on what truly matters. Building a new loving peaceful life for you and your family.

I have known Jenn for almost 15 years, and it was during one of the hardest times in my life that we became closer through a coaching relationship. I opened my heart to her, and trusted her with so many things that I had suppressed for a very long time. My pain and tears were met with compassion, shared experiences leading to comforting understanding, and most importantly a biblical foundation. Jenn genuinely cared, and wanted to help me push past the pain, and begin to regain my strength. She was a shoulder to cry on, but also a stern voice of reason that told me things no one else would, that were necessary and beneficial in my process. I can honestly say that if it wasn’t for Jesus, and my heaven sent sister in Christ, Jenn, that I would still be in a very dark place. I thank God for working through her, and in her obedience, I was richly blessed
Former Client

common questions

Yes, I can. I believe it’s only right to share that my experience and coaching will be based upon a Judeo-Christian biblical worldview. We can use the FREE CONSULATION CALL to see if we are a good fit for one another.
Hiring the right coach can ACTUALLY SAVE YOU MONEY. Your attorney’s job is to advocate for your legal rights and interests with the court. As a coach my job is to help you prepare yourself for the divorce and rebuild a new life after the legal proceedings are complete. A coach can help in many ways an attorney cannot and at a fraction of the hourly cost.

A coach may help you define and set goals and make a plan and path to achieve them. A consultant may help you accomplish them side-by-side.

A coach believes your goals for your life is best and help you define, plan and set goals to achieve it.

A consultant may provide opinions, recommendations based upon our own experience, training and expertise to help you clarify what those new life goals might look like. You still make the final decisions, it’s your life.

Here’s an example from my own life.

After my lengthy 3 year divorce I had years of back taxes I needed filed. During the divorce I didn’t have the mental clarity or energy to accomplish that VERY IMPORTANT task. I needed a coach to help motivate me and hold me accountable and consultant to come along side me to actually get them done. I needed another me. I needed an Ezer. I will be that for you.

  • *I am not a lawyer and do not provide legal advice. 
  • *I am not a tax expert and will not provide tax advice.
Admittedly, as a Christian Coach this is one of the hardest Q’s for me. However, after much prayerful consideration, I have decided that answer is No. I’ll tell you why. A coach’s role is to help you move forward. Gain clarity and execute goals. Making the decision to divorce can take a very long time (for some many years) and it must be between You and God alone. Once you have made the decision I stand beside you ready to jump in, support, guide, educate, empower and encourage you every step of the way. I will be your Ezer. I will, however, agree to a limited number of sessions as a consultant where I can answer Q’s you may have in order to help you gain clarity in your marriage. These will not be coaching sessions, they will be consulting sessions.
Having a Diagnosis of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is not necessary and very hard to get. Most Narcs won’t go to couples therapy or when they do they don’t actually do the work. They charm the therapist, only ever talk about your issues, anger, depression, (reactions to their crazy making behaviors) and leave pretending to be the good guy they portray in public. I went through this for nearly a decade before two PROPERLY TRAINED therapists started to see the truth. I teach you how to spot Narcs unhealthy patterns of behavior so you can remove yourself from the cycle of crazy and regain your power. Narcs are the most rigid and predictable of all Cluster B Personality Disorders. I will educate you on Narcissistic people’s toxic behavior patterns (based upon the DSM- 5) and once you see it, you cannot un-see it. So whether your partner is NPD or abusive in another way, he’s an abuser. NO ONE DESERVES ABUSE. God loves you. You are His daughter, His beloved child and he does not require you to stay in an abusive marriage.

This is the definition of abuse from the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) and the US Department of Justice:

“Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, or technological actions or threats of actions or other patterns of coercive behavior that influence another person within an intimate partner relationship. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.”

See the full explanation and break-downs here – https://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence

The simple fact that you are asking that Q means likely the answer is No. Narcs do not wonder if they are the problem. They have a disorder that tells them they are not disordered. Narcissistic abuse is insidious and its ultimate goal is to completely break you down (mentally emotionally, psychologically, financially, physically, etc) in order for the Narc to gain complete control in an attempt to regulate their very fragile ego and disordered mind.

Call the National Center for Domestic Violence Free helpline any time and speak with a trained advocate 24 hours a day Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or click here for more information https://www.thehotline.org

An Ezer is how God defined a woman in Genesis 2:18. After my study of the original Hebrew I now understand this scripture is misinterpreted far too often, even by women. It is important that we understand it correctly in order to live up to our full God-given potential.


And the LORD God said,

“It is not good that the man be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 

Gen. 2:18 NKLV 

I used to roll my eyes whenever I heard this Bible verse, I went straight into defensive mode. I’m definitely not just a “helper” or “help meet”. There was no way I was created to be just a helper. This awful interpretation is a deception, we were created for so much more! In Hebrew the word used is עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ Ezer Kenegdo and this is a difficult word to translate into English or any other language.

The word עֵזֶר (ezer) in Genesis 2:18, has wrongly been understood to connote the idea of subordination or inferiority. However, when you look at the word עֵזֶר (ezer) in the Hebrew Bible it is never used as a subordinate – only in that of an equal or superior. In fact, apart from a very few occurrences, the word is always used of God in His role as military force, strong one, rescuer, or protector of Isreal (e.g. Ex. 18:14; Deut. 33:7). So a much truer and more accurate interpretation of עֵזֶר (ezer) actually defines women as a strong one who rescues, saves, and protects, a military force. In short, an Ezer is a Warrior. I am a warrior. You are a warrior. We are a Warriors. Even if you don’t feel like it right now, that’s okay. I can help you become an Ezer again.

I prayed for years for God to make me the Ezer (of my family) He created me to be. Little did I know what the whole process would look like. But I knew immediately that prayer was answered when He called me to into Coaching. To me an Ezer is a Coach for women abused, exhausted, and broken and seeking peace. I will be your Ezer.